Monday, April 15, 2013

Write another travelin' song

Haven't been updating, which makes me sad.
Even as a kid when I kept journals in notebooks, if I didn't write in them for a period of time,
I felt guilty. Like the journal was sentient and was feeling neglected.

So, my lease comes up in late June. And if I stay for another year, my lease goes up $50/month.
If I choose a month-to-month plan (which would make more sense for me since I get married in
less than a year and Wesley isn't coming to Nashville), it goes up $200/mo.
And there's really no other place in Nashville (that's not completely sketchy) that is in my price range
unless I get a regular 40-hr week job.
But, I can't do that because I have to go back to school.
I took the PCAT and aced the shit out of it.
But for some reason a Pre-Med degree doesn't get the credits you need for PharmD?
So I need to get 2-3 classes done at a community college before I matriculate at either UF or VCU next fall.
And it's cheaper to do it in FL.
And I have a wedding to figure out, which is taking place in Orlando.
So....I'm gonna have to move back to central FL when my lease is up.
Only a year of Nashvillian experiences.

But, strangely enough, even though I've absolutely loved it here, I'm not sad.
I've played shows, I've cowritten, I'm recording my second EP.
I've sent in my music to festivals here and publishing companies.
Met some amazing people who I hope to stay in touch with for always.
But, since I've been here I've actually felt like less than myself.
Writing is harder.
I'm not as motivated to play shows.
It's so weird.
I guess maybe I am happier as a big fish in a medium sized pond
than just another random fish in a massive ocean.
if that makes sense...

And now I know that it's completely okay to feel this way.

There's a bunch of stuff I want to do before I leave though.
Like finish the EP and do a music video.
Check out all of those vintage shops and unique-to-Nashville shops.
Go see a show at one of the bars on Broadway.
and more.
And I'm gonna freaking make these last 2ish months count.

I'm so happy I even got this year on my own in such a wonderful place.
I am so blessed to have my parent's be so supportive and helping me out financially during my whole stay.
But, I can't keep mooching off of them and of course, they won't let me. haha.
I feel like just by moving here, I did something important for myself.
I moved to a completely different state where I didn't know hardly anyone.
I lived by myself and was the most independent I've ever been.
I've planned a good portion of my wedding long-distance.
And for the first time, my fiance and I were in different time zones and states, let alone different cities.
and I did very well.
I needed this experience so badly.
I'm not even the same person I was a year ago
and that's thanks to my time here in Nashville.

I got to go back to Miami to play in a recital for my good friend and former bandmate/drummer, John Keener. I had such a great time and felt so amazing playing two songs with him, Russell Klein, Sam Cohen, and Jon Sheairs. And at the same time it kinda made me sad because I surprisingly hadn't had that same
exhilarating feeling onstage during my time in Nashville.

I quit my marketing job.
I loved the people I worked with, but I couldn't stay just for that.
Especially since the work itself turned into a huge obligation.
I only have a short time left here, so I'm only going to spend it doing things I truly want to do.

End Scene.